What I like most about my writng is when I put alot of details in the funny part of the story. Next time,I will work harder on to put more writing in my paragraphs. Overall,I fell really great about my writing.
Your story was fun. I liked how you described the day as "hot". What other words might be used to also describe the day? Hot and sunny? Steamy? Blistering sun? Finding some cool new ways to describe what you are seeing and feeling will really improve your writing. I can tell, though, that you are already a great writer and love to write. Keep practicing in class and at home. Remember, people all over the world are reading your writing.
My story is cool!!!
ReplyDeleteerik your story rocks you sure do know how to write stuff
ReplyDeletei realy like your story it is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletehey erik i like your story
ReplyDeletecoooooooool story!
ReplyDeleteerik's story rocks
ReplyDeletei like when you said that you screamed like a girl
ReplyDeleteErik, you jump right to the funny part in the story. Next time remember to have some build up to the high point in your story.
ReplyDeleteYour story is very funny because your cousin turns on you! That's the part that is very surprising and funny.
Erik your story is cool!!! I like how you used alot of cool words like your story.
ReplyDeleteErik,
ReplyDeleteYour story was fun. I liked how you described the day as "hot". What other words might be used to also describe the day? Hot and sunny? Steamy? Blistering sun? Finding some cool new ways to describe what you are seeing and feeling will really improve your writing. I can tell, though, that you are already a great writer and love to write. Keep practicing in class and at home. Remember, people all over the world are reading your writing.
Erik,
ReplyDeleteyour story is very funny I realy liked it