I like the way you used words like "POW" to add to your story. I also like the build up to the funny part. Your story ends quickly though. Was your brother hurt? Was he stunned when he fell?
I bet your brother was hurt. I was windering some things when reading this really great story. Was it light or dark in the garage? What are wheelies? What color are they? Is it a funny story because your brother yelled "POW"? Good Job!
After reading your very descriptive story; I don't think it would feel good at all to fall on hard cement. I like the way your voice came through in your writing. Great job Fernando!
Fernando, I think it would hurt if you fell on the cement!! I liked the way you used the word "POW". Next time maybe you could add some more sentences. I thought the story ended to quickly. I wanted to read more!!
Hi Fernando. I really liked your story, especially your beginning. I think ordinary is a very juicy word to describe day. I liked that you ended with a question, but I was left wondering what happened next. Mrs. Morgan
I like the way you used words like "POW" to add to your story. I also like the build up to the funny part. Your story ends quickly though. Was your brother hurt? Was he stunned when he fell?
ReplyDeletei think that it would really hurt a lot ecpecialy if it in cement.
ReplyDeleteFernando,
ReplyDeleteI bet your brother was hurt. I was windering some things when reading this really great story. Was it light or dark in the garage? What are wheelies? What color are they? Is it a funny story because your brother yelled "POW"? Good Job!
After reading your very descriptive story; I don't think it would feel good at all to fall on hard cement. I like the way your voice came through in your writing. Great job Fernando!
ReplyDeleteFernando, I think it would hurt if you fell on the cement!! I liked the way you used the word "POW". Next time maybe you could add some more sentences. I thought the story ended to quickly. I wanted to read more!!
ReplyDeleteHi Fernando. I really liked your story, especially your beginning. I think ordinary is a very juicy word to describe day. I liked that you ended with a question, but I was left wondering what happened next.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Morgan
I like your funny story Fernando I could imagine being your brother that must of hurt.
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ReplyDeletefernando ur story is funy becase it iz tihgt.
It would hurt
ReplyDeleteBy.faythe