what i like about my writing is I have alot of writing and its funny. if i did it over again i would make my spelling better and make it more funny.Over all i feel good becouse I did it.
I thought your story was clever. It is funny and thrilling to create excitement and fear and then let the reader in on your little secret--just a pair of shoes.
I was also impressed with your reflection. It is a good goal to want to become a better speller.
Think about how you hook your reader at the beginning of the story. Start with a dramatic sentence like, "The night 15 cops came to my house with guns drawn was one of the scariest and funniest nights of my life!"
Your story is like a good mystery, or a scary movie. I wanted to keep reading to find out what was going on with the noise that you heard. I think it is a good goal to work on your spelling. I want to complement you on the hard work you put in. I also think you should be proud for getting it done.
Wow! Your story was very suspenseful! I got nervous wondering what was in the house with you and your mother. I really loved the way you built up the tension by not revealing too much; yet keeping us the readers, engaged with descriptive language.
Hi Jason. Wow, your story kept me very interested. You did a great job retelling the events in a way that was not confusing. I am glad that everything turned out ok. Mrs. Morgan
Jason,
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was clever. It is funny and thrilling to create excitement and fear and then let the reader in on your little secret--just a pair of shoes.
I was also impressed with your reflection. It is a good goal to want to become a better speller.
Think about how you hook your reader at the beginning of the story. Start with a dramatic sentence like, "The night 15 cops came to my house with guns drawn was one of the scariest and funniest nights of my life!"
I loved your story. I will share with my family.
Your story is like a good mystery, or a scary movie. I wanted to keep reading to find out what was going on with the noise that you heard. I think it is a good goal to work on your spelling. I want to complement you on the hard work you put in. I also think you should be proud for getting it done.
ReplyDeleteyour funny story was great because you thout there was a gost in your basement and because you thought you saw blue eays
ReplyDeleteWow! Your story was very suspenseful! I got nervous wondering what was in the house with you and your mother. I really loved the way you built up the tension by not revealing too much; yet keeping us the readers, engaged with descriptive language.
ReplyDeleteHi Jason. Wow, your story kept me very interested. You did a great job retelling the events in a way that was not confusing. I am glad that everything turned out ok.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Morgan