My favorite part of my writing is the last sentence.
The thing I need to work on is my details
Jose R. 2-17-09 Persuasive Writing
With the extra fundraiser money we can have a better playground. It would be the coolest thing ever. Also, we will not be board the whole time. Finally, we will have a lot more fun.
It would be so cool. It would because we get to play more. Also we will have a lot more activities. Those games will be the fun nest games ever. We also will play more because the playground will be gigantic.
We also will not be board. We will not because us kids will be chatting and hanging out. We will have a lot more fun with the new equipment. Also when we are being crazy out there it is kids just being kids. When we are out side we love it.
That will really mean a lot to us. If you did it you would be number one in my book “yeah”!!! It will really make us happy. I will even clean it up every day if I have to. Think about it, it would be really cool.
So you herd it from kids there selves. They really want it. Also you do not want to make them crazy trust me because I am one of them. So please do it or we will boo it.