What I like about my writing is how I wrote a lot of details. If I did it over again I would improve my writing. Overall, I feel happy about my story.
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9 comments:
I like the way you used words like "POW" to add to your story. I also like the build up to the funny part. Your story ends quickly though. Was your brother hurt? Was he stunned when he fell?
i think that it would really hurt a lot ecpecialy if it in cement.
Fernando,
I bet your brother was hurt. I was windering some things when reading this really great story. Was it light or dark in the garage? What are wheelies? What color are they? Is it a funny story because your brother yelled "POW"? Good Job!
After reading your very descriptive story; I don't think it would feel good at all to fall on hard cement. I like the way your voice came through in your writing. Great job Fernando!
Fernando, I think it would hurt if you fell on the cement!! I liked the way you used the word "POW". Next time maybe you could add some more sentences. I thought the story ended to quickly. I wanted to read more!!
Hi Fernando. I really liked your story, especially your beginning. I think ordinary is a very juicy word to describe day. I liked that you ended with a question, but I was left wondering what happened next.
Mrs. Morgan
I like your funny story Fernando I could imagine being your brother that must of hurt.
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fernando ur story is funy becase it iz tihgt.
It would hurt
By.faythe
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