Friday, September 21, 2007

Fernando's Funny Story


What I like about my writing is how I wrote a lot of details. If I did it over again I would improve my writing. Overall, I feel happy about my story.

9 comments:

Jeff Lewis said...

I like the way you used words like "POW" to add to your story. I also like the build up to the funny part. Your story ends quickly though. Was your brother hurt? Was he stunned when he fell?

monicat said...

i think that it would really hurt a lot ecpecialy if it in cement.

Joseph Miller said...

Fernando,

I bet your brother was hurt. I was windering some things when reading this really great story. Was it light or dark in the garage? What are wheelies? What color are they? Is it a funny story because your brother yelled "POW"? Good Job!

M. Loeb said...

After reading your very descriptive story; I don't think it would feel good at all to fall on hard cement. I like the way your voice came through in your writing. Great job Fernando!

Anonymous said...

Fernando, I think it would hurt if you fell on the cement!! I liked the way you used the word "POW". Next time maybe you could add some more sentences. I thought the story ended to quickly. I wanted to read more!!

Lindsay said...

Hi Fernando. I really liked your story, especially your beginning. I think ordinary is a very juicy word to describe day. I liked that you ended with a question, but I was left wondering what happened next.
Mrs. Morgan

Erik G. said...

I like your funny story Fernando I could imagine being your brother that must of hurt.

Anonymous said...

-+-
fernando ur story is funy becase it iz tihgt.

fernando b said...

It would hurt



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