Friday, September 21, 2007

my niece by Gabe M.

What I like about my writing is that it is realistic. If I did it over again I would improve it by making my paragaphs long. Overall I feel berty good about my writeing.


Jeff Lewis said...

The beginning is very good. You put the reader in the middle of the story and we wonder, "how did that happen?". I was reading on because I was very curious. I also like that the last detail you give is that she is only two years old.

Work on adding details to your writing, setting the scene for the reader to build up the really funny part.

Erik G. said...

oh my god!!!I can't believe your 2 year old niece busted your lip.That's halarius hahahahahahaha!!!