Friday, September 21, 2007

Funny story by Jason M.




what i like about my writing is I have alot of writing and its funny. if i did it over again i would make my spelling better and make it more funny.Over all i feel good becouse I did it.

5 comments:

Joseph Miller said...

Jason,

I thought your story was clever. It is funny and thrilling to create excitement and fear and then let the reader in on your little secret--just a pair of shoes.

I was also impressed with your reflection. It is a good goal to want to become a better speller.

Think about how you hook your reader at the beginning of the story. Start with a dramatic sentence like, "The night 15 cops came to my house with guns drawn was one of the scariest and funniest nights of my life!"

I loved your story. I will share with my family.

Jeff Lewis said...

Your story is like a good mystery, or a scary movie. I wanted to keep reading to find out what was going on with the noise that you heard. I think it is a good goal to work on your spelling. I want to complement you on the hard work you put in. I also think you should be proud for getting it done.

ashlyn z said...

your funny story was great because you thout there was a gost in your basement and because you thought you saw blue eays

M. Loeb said...

Wow! Your story was very suspenseful! I got nervous wondering what was in the house with you and your mother. I really loved the way you built up the tension by not revealing too much; yet keeping us the readers, engaged with descriptive language.

Lindsay said...

Hi Jason. Wow, your story kept me very interested. You did a great job retelling the events in a way that was not confusing. I am glad that everything turned out ok.
Mrs. Morgan