Friday, September 21, 2007

The Hamster

What i like about my writing is that it is funny. If i did my story over again i would change my conclusion. Overall i feel excited of my writing.


stephanie s said...

i like your story because when you put the hamster in the bed and when you where laughing under the bed

Joseph Miller said...


That is a super funny story. You should feel very excited about your writing. I had a hamster when I was a boy, but I never put it in my mother's bed when she was sleeping.

I think you are correct, the conclusion could be improved a little. For example, is your Mom still afraid of hamsters? Does she have nightmares about snakes and hamsters in her bed? Did she ever try to pull a practical joke on you?

Great job.

Jeff Lewis said...

I think your conclusion should be changed too. How would you change it? Joseph Miller's comment gives you some good questions to answer. Remember that your story doesn't have to end right after the funny part. You can give us some details about what happened during the days or weeks after.

Very funny!

edith r said...

Good Job!!!!