Wednesday, September 19, 2007

when i scered my grandma


What I like most about my story is the funny part. Next time, I will work harder on my ending sentance. Overall,I feel great about my asome writing.

8 comments:

abigailm said...

Wow that part when you scared your grandma was funny

jose c said...

Nice story Erik HAHAHA

isaac a said...

i like it because when u scared your grandma she juped out of her sin

monicat said...

i like your story when your grandma got scared and jumped.

stephanie s said...

i like your story because you scared you grandma

Joseph Miller said...

Ashlyn,

I like your story and the imagery. I could just see a grandmother jumping "out of her skin." That is a nice way to put it.

Why did you want to scare your grandmother? Does your grandmother look around the door before coming in now? Do you like to scare other people?

Good paper.

Jeff Lewis said...

"Jumped out of her skin" really helps us understand how scared she was. At the end you say, "you should have been there". Remember, your job as a writer is to help the reader think they are actually there.

stephanie s said...

i like your story because you scared your granma and she almost peed her pants